“You are not head, you are my partner” – Young lady lists her conditions for marriage

A young lady has stirred discussions online after publicly listing her conditions before she considers marriage.

The lady, identified as Gra Xie on Facebook, shared her expectations in a viral post, emphasizing independence, equality and shared decision-making.

No Bride Price, No Surname Change

Gra Xie made it clear that she will not accept a traditional bride price for herself.

She also stated that she has no intention of adding a husband’s surname to her own, and any children from the marriage would bear both parents’ names.

Equality Above All

The lady stressed that marriage should be a partnership of equals. She stated that her future husband would not be her “head” or “leader” and that major decisions must be discussed jointly, with compromises reached between the two parties.

In her words:

1. No bride price will be paid on my head for any reason.
2. If we have children, they will bear both my name and your name.
3. I am not going to add your name or surname to my name.
4. The number of children we would birth will be my decision to make not yours.
5. Aside carrying the pregnancy to term there is no other responsibility you cannot carry out e.g bathing the kids, feeding them, changing diapers etc.
6. We both have equal rights and say so before any significant decision is made, we would table it and have a discussion then either meet up in the mid point or we go for the superior idea.
7. You are not my head, you are not my leader. We are partners, we are equals, we are adults.
8. We would have a court wedding.
9. There’s no room for polygamy; the moment you decide to bring another woman, I have the right to leave.
10. House chores will be outsourced.

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